Author: MS

Fuel to Write

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I saw the latest Anne Hathaway film the other day, The Idea of You on Amazon. Not once, but a second time. Only because at first viewing, I was nodding off throughout the film. Not because it wasn’t captivating but because I was battling a flu of sorts. Second round, the gaps connected, and I, as usual, began to overanalyze the situation. A 20something young man falling for a 40+ woman. I felt weird by how the film ended. (Spoiler alert) where the couple spent 5 years apart intentionally to see if they can overcome or outlast the challenges. Which (the challenges) in my opinion were downplayed or simplified. Don’t get me wrong. I adored the chemistry, the casting, the chase, but yet I felt it was all so unnatural. Why is that? Is it because we are so accustomed to seeing an older man with a younger woman, that, we don’t even think twice when portrayed in films? So when the story is reversed, (some of us), feel a bit uneasy with the situation, …

Pause On Long Time Passions

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The Pandemic year, while cooped up at home, I outlined all sorts of projects for myself. Tapping mostly on my creative side, not applying techniques to my daily work, but actually drew up a plan: To do more writing and less working. Resurge my Etsy store during the holiday season to offer up those unique gifts and things, as well as improve my photography skills. Sounds like Fiscal year goals (for those of you with careers 🙂 ) Four years later, I have done nothing but work longer hours, thanks to working from home mainly, no Etsy products on display on my online store, now going on 3 holiday seasons passed. But the photography has been ample. Sharing on Instagram plenty, but not the kind where it drops a copy here in my website link for your viewing pleasure, but the ones that are saved under ‘ Insta-story’ where they fall off in 24 hours. Thought I’d share that with you today and the photos of course…

Boutique Hotel Pick – Hotel Chateau St Martin – French Riviera

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There is simply one image that I was drawn to while searching for a boutique hotel to add to my collection of bucket list hotels. You know for that special occasion or to simply pamper myself. The very image below in one from my childhood summer vacation days, perched around a table with extended families, for hours over dinners somewhere in the Mediterranean in a setting exactly as this: Take the tour

The Need To Be Creative

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I spend most of my days working long hours, 12-18 to provide a reference point. But while I robotically tap against the keyboard, or conduct a meeting to discuss like issues or plans to improve, my mind strangely wanders off…to the novels I’ve drafted (now going on five years) where I keep vowing each year to publish. Maybe this year, where my priorities have shifted a bit, from caregiver to someone learning to get past the grief. At least that is the plan. Do you find yourself setting goals you are not able to achieve? And if so, are most of the hurdles within your control or ones outside?

Emotionally Filled Year-End

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As I drove home in the early morning hours, from a quick holiday weekend trip up north, I began to sob uncontrollably when the song ‘Where are you Christmas‘ streamed aloud through the surround sound in my car. I did my best to stay strong and in the moment, while visiting family, playing with pets, kids and engaging in conversation – but my mind was elsewhere, far, far away, mainly wondering where my mother might be spending Christmas in the afterlife? Is there an afterlife? And where is it located? Were thoughts that followed as I journeyed along the highway; the full moon my escort. I wondered if I will ever see here again…you know, in the heavens above, or…not sure if our paths will ever cross again. The thought of it all, churning my stomach and sending my heart to an uneasy flutter as I veered the car left, then right, coasting along. The song blended into the next, suggesting to, ‘Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas’. I mumbled the verses to the very …

Autumn Thoughts

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I walked my neighborhood this morning, through warm-brisk air, where at the start of the walk, I felt the need to button up and midway through, peeled off my jacket. On the walk I could not keep my thoughts and my visual in sync, if you know what I mean: I wanted to take in the hints of autumn, the rustling of the trees, and the swirling fallen leaves, but my mind kept circling back to thoughts of my beloved mother who passed away at the tail end of summer. And although I spoke to my walking partner, about ideas and fun facts, my stomach was in knots as I fought back the tears. I am long ways away from all things accepting and moving on with life…

Notes From The Weekend

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A co-worker of mine announced late Friday night that she was resigning. Not much details to offer up but wanted to let me know nonetheless. My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach. Not because she was resigning ‘understandably so’, but because I realized just then that I had no room in my heart or head to take on another disappointing news. You see I’ve been trying to keep it together for weeks, about my mother’s health and the idea of losing her on any given day… I’ve been floating through life since coming to terms with her not recovering from her last Intensive care stay… which led to in-home hospice care. So many emotions have filtered through my being since, causing me to burst into tears, to having panic attacks, to no sleep at nights, or eat to not having the drive to go on and yet… I have worked by her bedside every day for 18 hours to help me cope, I suppose. But yet…that coping has led to more disappointment about …

Craving Travel

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Before the pandemic I travelled several times a year to all sorts of destinations. Two years in lock down, and just when it felt safe enough to do the bit of travelling outside of camping and quick getaways, my mother fell ill. Resetting and reprioritizing all of my plans to venture across the pond like the good old days and just immerse myself in all things novel writing worthy. A hundred times I stood in this very spot and snapped a photograph, each time as if it were my first time seeing St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome. Dozens of times I strolled down the narrowest of cobble-stoned streets of Paris. Always in aw over the smallest of villages perched along the hillside along the Amalfi coast. Timeless train travel through Switzerland Right there… …and here Dean Village in Edinburgh Reminders of Days gone by through Ireland I long for it all

Take Time For Yourself

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While on a work call to discuss developmental goals for my team, I realized that under the insane demands of life, I do not make any effort to care for myself. Funny how one topic leads to another Not because I don’t want to, nor NOT know how to self-care, but the demands of work and unexpected events in life since the middle of June have not allowed me to continue on a positive path to wellness. I do worry about the toll my unexpected life is taking on me and currently trying to figure out how to find the right balance past what everyone says: How do you find balance?