All The Questions In The World

Yes, it is happening again, where on a gloomy rainy day, I start to questions too many things. I think mostly on day two of a work week, while still trying to get adjusted to  sitting in the basement of a building not so retrofitted for a city built on sand and destined for earthquakes. I do cringe with every step I descent to the underground, and sometimes even hold my breath until I leave work.

There are worst things in the world and I’m sure someone reading this is saying, how selfish of her to be thinking otherwise.  But in talking to the group of employees, who got the shorter end of the stick, about our placement, I realize that although no one is happy in the basement, they are not willing to complain about it. Which got me thinking about the topic of complaining.

Is complaining really that bad?  Or is complaining a waste of your valuable time and something that should be avoided at all cost?  

How to Complain Less is the concept of and some pointers to consider.

 

Life is not perfect. It never has been and never will be. This is not bad news. In fact, once we begin to embrace this reality, we welcome a great number of possibilities. Life is never perfect. We know this to be true.

There are times, of course, when notifying someone of an injustice is good and proper. But most of the time, we express feelings of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment simply because it is our natural response. But this response ought to be reconsidered in our lives because it is rarely healthy. In fact, there are many negative outcomes to this reaction. Complaining feeds and breeds a negative response. Additionally,

It fosters a negative attitude. It negatively impacts those around us. It doesn’t change our circumstance.It disqualifies the value of discomfort in our lives.  It is highly unattractive.It leaves us in victim-mode. 

What the author suggests is the following approach to complaining less

Consider the importance of adopting the change. Embrace the recognition of an imperfect world. Understand the difference between helpful criticism and complaint. Be mindful of your audience. Avoid beginning conversations with a complaint. Refuse to complain for the sake of validation.Notice your triggers.  Embrace the idea of experimentation.

So, if we must not complain, and keeping it bottled up is not good for our health, what do we do?

If something warrants complaining, add a solution. If a solution isn’t available, reassess your complaint, or your approach to the very thing you feel the need to complain about. Is it really constructive, or your character simply sees the worst in everything? Can you find the best in any situation and focus on that? 

But then this happens, which makes you wonder if all of the suggestions here, here and here are only one sided 

Those employees who used to complain about everything in our previous office location (where all of us sat on the same floor), who are now seated on the 3rd floor of our structurally unsafe building, next to windows, and high and exposed ceilings, all have smiles plastered across their faces, and when asked how they like their new seat location, they have nothing but great things to say about it, and are even coming into the office every single day instead of working from home.

I’d love to hear from you…

 

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