Funny thing happened to me  this week, which at first I didn’t think much about, but after receiving 4 survey emails in 3 days, all I could do is  laugh because I knew that even if I decide to complete them, nothing will change by the company conducting the survey.

They will still hire careless customer service reps, with no decision-making skills to NOT answer our concerns and questions over the phone. They will not improve their service no matter how sorry they say they are that we experienced the problems that we did when we contacted them in the first place. And for GOD’s sake can you please stop saying “is there anything else I can do for you” towards  the end of a call, when you haven’t done anything in the first place.

So the question goes like this: Why the heck are you conducting the survey in the first place?

My first guess is: It is a technique used to discourage the customer from complaining. They figured if they can SURVEY you before you can call to complain, then you may feel a certain sense of satisfaction, knowing someone out there is thinking about your well-being. (It’s kind of like the plane isn’t considered late  if it has pushed back from the gate, even if it is sitting on the tarmac for 30 minutes plus before takeoff)

The second guess is: Some bright-eyed and pushy tailed person figured a way to make a buck by convincing companies to conduct surveys as a means to improve their customer service skills, while  knowing in the back of their minds that it is completely and utterly impossible to do with a high staff turnover. As a result, the ongoing surveys is a guaranteed means to make a buck. (It’s kind of like signing up for a quick diet, where you lose 20lbs in 10 days and then once you stop the quick diet, you gain 50lbs more, so you need to stay on the diet/ pill for the rest of your life, thinking it’s helping while someone out there is making a buck off of you)

Well, whatever the reason may be, it isn’t working my friends. Because by the time a company acts on the survey they conducted to improve their service, they are bought out by a new investor who is going to need to conduct a new survey in order to improve on his/her version of quality customer service. Or better yet, because they finally realize the quality control team they hired is overpaid without results, they move their call centers to the Himalayas so that poor customer service can be temporarily detoured with the words, Madam and Sir until they can find a new investor to take their place.

I once contacted a customer service center in the midwest to complain about them losing my documents and I was politely told by the call center manager “Ma am you should be glad you woke up today” to which I replied “ma am you should be glad you still have a job today” before hanging up the phone on her face.

Anyway,  just in case you are wondering about the four surveys in 3 days, they are as follows:

1.Enterprise Rent-A-Car (lemon) wanted to ask how I enjoyed their soiled vehicle with no washer fluid, among other things that went on at their front desk while renting and returning the car.

2.Kaiser Permenante wanted to know if the staff in the lobby smiled when they greeted me and answered all my questions. Of course how do you rate spending 30 minutes working through a language barrier when dealing with someone who couldn’t add, continue  insisting her calculations were correct when  I knew otherwise. I really couldn’t tell if she smiled, nor I cared if she did.

3.Expedia.com asking how my trip to San Francisco was (when I actually live here) ***Note to self: call Expedia to find out what they are talking about?

4. Best Western asked how my stay was and when I told them the hot water was turned off for six hours one day and the staff could have been more attentive and polite when talked to, they simply apologized and didn’t even offer me a coupon.

And last but not least (without a survey)  I couldn’t resist a say so. My all time favorite Travelodge Call Center and their front desk staff – you actually take the cake in your lack of service and resolution. I most certainly have crossed you off my list of places to stay  or review or recommend to budget traveller. So there.

I would love to hear customer service stories from anyone, please do share and thank you for letting me tell you my story.