Over the weekend I went shopping, more like browsing by myself. I think subconsciously I needed to people watch more than anything so I can validate the human behaviors I’ve written about for a creative writing assignment.
While in Michael’s (the craft store for those unfamiliar) I noticed number of couples, the man helping his wife or partner find something – the right color of a project, one woman shared a photograph on her cellphone for him as reference to help her find JUST THE RIGHT RED-ORANGE. I chuckled at the way he was pointing to every red paint color and her getting irritated or annoyed with him.
Then another husband was given the task to find a spool of thread, which I realized how nervous he was, gathering a dozen samples for the wife to choose from.
Another one was in charge of helping pick out imitation flowers for his wife. He stood there patiently holding the bunch and occasionally suggesting this and that only to get her disapproval.
I left the store and walked across the boulevard to the shopping mall, entering through Nordstrom. And there at the first dressing room by the women’s clothing area were a handful of men waiting around for their partners to try on clothes, and another half a dozen men thumbing through the racks helping.
By this point I wondered how many of those men really wanted to be there – doing the girly things for their wives and how many of those men actually took pleasure with the tasks? Was it love? Couple-time? A Duty? And then all this thinking led me to this article: Ten Things I’ve Learned From Ten Years Being Married.
And the ten things go like this:
We Have Separate Lives
We Don’t Play The Gender Stereotype
We Are Honest with One Another
We Talk Openly About Money
We Don’t Go To Bed Angry
We Plan Regular Date Nights
We Kiss Each other Goodbye Everyday
We Agree To Disagree
We Make Each other Laugh
We Have Sex Often
So, I wonder how much of these great set of rules do we all apply past the ten-year marriage? Or do we forget them? Are rules to live by in marriage necessary? Can a marriage survive if none of those rules are applied – perhaps allowing each other to drift apart?